1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
