dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize