i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
