no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
