Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
