As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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