is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize