Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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