I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
