you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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