No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
