im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
