So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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