i already hear my dad disowning me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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