I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
