I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
