My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
