It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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