he puts the penis in happiness.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize