called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
