Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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