What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
