that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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