girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
