he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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