No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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