I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
