You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
