Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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