did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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