i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize