You made me cry and you don't even care
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
