Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
