Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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