So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
