Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
