Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
