Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
