but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
