2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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