The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
