It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
