He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
