Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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