Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
