is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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