I'm drive I can fine osifer
it's great music for shaving your balls
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
