No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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