good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize