New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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