you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
