really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize