I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize