YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
