Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
