Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
