No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize