Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
