dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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