Nicole vs. Life
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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