chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
