You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
