Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
