He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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