Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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